[J][e][s][u][s] LOVE US!!!

Happy Blessed CNY

Happy Blessed CNY!!

sometimes i wonder, what does it mean to have a CNY??
coming together as one whole family, take or give ang bao, go pia nian with orange and see each other once a year?? that all... this year to me it doesnt mean to be cny, maybe i taken less ang bao; nv pia nian, or lesser ppl??

not just all these thing, i still needed go temple with my family... this year we went to the place call dunno what but in english is recieve cai shan/~ seeing all these, is there really one?? nobody know, can feel it?? but they will make the place so grand and coloured it gold, gold doesnt mean yuan bao. its was just to collect money for themself only and everyone is there to touch it and put some money for dunno who use... as if really could make u rich, what a thinking foolish things. hais

the different from last yer and this year was my ah ma, how i wish and i could and i would spent more time with her. it was seem like it happen yesterday only... im really sad. Since young very young i was with my ah ma, under her cared when she still could walk. together with my cousin and elder sis, the four of us will play what she teaches, the card games and teaches my sis to sing... she could no longer walk but to use her stick and was weak in her leg. She went through alot of things, i wouls say she strong and she moved near my house a few years back. We even went wcp to play and eat mac. My ah ma eat mac who many ah ma would eat. Missed those time and she died last year 2008 sep... She was send to hospital and doctor said to be prepared... I went and saw her, touch her cold but warmed hand. Aunty mei ling came and she help to clean up my ah ma but i wasnt there and she say she could hear her but she didnt say after she do it, she will gone.=( crying, who knows she saved... i trust that God is in control of everything. She was gone on tue 0200 +- my mom didnt wake me up. I was angry and sad when i heard in the early morning. As far as i could, i couldnt drop a tear out of my eyes. I was there throught out the last day when we walk out to the burned place, aunty mei ling came one of the day and that day i was out. But i spent my night over there... The last night when they burn what is needed, the fire was so hugh that i could feel the heat. It was 2 or 3 story high and i tot of hell. The fear and the pain... still souldnt drop a tear. 5 days later when it was about to be burn and every one of us saw the process and i still couldnt drop a tear and very last moment when the door was about to closed to be burned. I started to cried, tear dropping down from my eyes. How i wish it didnt happen. Today everyone seem to be okay who know from the inside. My mom cry and i know she would because she was the closer to my ah ma... what i cried is i couldnt share about God love and i missed those days. I forgotten everything when the night i remember everything when i was 5-7 years old. A kind loving ah ma i have, tear just simpling dropped down. Nobody know what i gone through but God know. How blessed i have is God!~ tears
I cried the most last year and i didnt realise many things. This year, i got to move on because i cried out loud to Him and it was Him that here i am. Another wise, i am no longer here...

God is beyond time and further more, He planned out everything in its time
He make things in His control, He know everything, He is with us
He is is far greater and mighty God, who am i to seek Him
He found me before i knew Him, He heal me all my pain and suffering,
He giude me through my days, He know what is best for me,
He make me cry unto Him for the good works tat He had done, for when i sinned
He know when to knock us back when we are boosted, we go on our own, we do it on our strength and we think we could and forgotten our Almighty King of King and Lord of Lord!~ Amen
He not just know us, He know every single one who He created and He know me deep down inside my very own heart and not just knowing but he understand and he can feel and full my heart.
How blessed are you today?? life will have peace today when i placed Him in my heart and ask Him to lead me, who know my life other than my God with a relationship with Him. Its not about saying things example like sinner prayer, it must be say throught and from heart.
What a Heavenly Father i have and He gives us his Son Jesus Christ and He done it all for us, He saved us from sin, death and hell and His wound im heal
He'll be my refuge in my day of trouble, He'll be my shlter in my time of storm, He'll be my tower in the day of sorrow, He'll be your fortress in my time of war. He is my all in all.
It was the sin and we need to pay for our price but Jesus Christ, the son of God paid it all
Who am i to even hate and dislike or even jugde other when my God didnt
Who am i but a helpless sheep and it was my shepherd who cares for me. And i will care for others like He once cared for me.
I will rise up like eagle and i will soar with you, your spirit lead me on by the power of your love and as i wait, i learn, i hear, i act, i follow till i die.
I found the reason when i was young, why do i need to life and why this and that, i finally knew the answer and peace came into my heart and healed me
I was then born again, who life changed and all because of the love of God
Its not what words could be written, its about the Feeling with God, the Relationship with Him, the Heart that He see, the Love that shower down from heaven
Amen!~

posted by hockcai @ 5:07 PM